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Episodes 1-52
August 12, 2022-July 26, 2023

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52 What Women Really Want—Bitmoji Edition

The Mosaic Ark wraps up its first season and after a full year of streaming we still want to discover What Women Really Want. Have we been truly honest as women about our desires and fears, and if not, what are our great expectations as women? Take a ride through Bitmoji Joy and help us to figure out What Women Really Want.


Streamed July 26, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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51 Normans in Paris

France was on fire last week, and Kilts wrote an article about the rioting and the internet commentators declaring that France is now in a Race War. But what if France isn't in a race war? What if France is having an identity crisis? Join us as we look the France of Alexander Dumas, pick up the sword pf the Holy Roman African Saint Maurice, and ask ourselves what do we do about Normans in Paris?


—Streamed July 19, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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50 What Women Really Want

What do women want? The Ark returns to break down the complex desires of the female sex. We draw inspiration from Simone de Beauvoir, Rosie the Riveter, The Addams Family, and ask ourselves if women are totally Clueless. Are women really out for equality and sovereignty over men, or do women want something else? And if they know what they want, why is it so hard for them to just admit it?


—Streamed July 12, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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49 The Four Senses of Storytelling

How do you read stories like Dante? The Pigeon and the Professor discuss why works like The Divine Comedy seem so difficult for modern readers to enjoy. There has been a collapse of reading ability in European culture, so what are we missing? If you want to read the great works of your own folk cultures, join us for a lesson in Medieval vision. You might already be doing it.


Read on: The Four Senses of Draco Alchemicus

—Streamed June 28, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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48 Selling the Dragon

The Professor and the Pigeon reflect on their marathon Monday night stream, and share what we've learned with other aspiring storytellers who wish to launch creative projects into the sea of stories. Have you got a pen? Join us and compare notes with the Mosaic Ark!

—Streamed June 21, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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47 The Magic of Storytelling

The Ark hosts its first-ever marathon stream with guests aboard! Join us for a 6-hour odyssey on the art of storytelling, starring comic book legend Chuck Dixon (creator of Bane), physics wizard and author Hans G. Schantz (recently featured on Fox News for his Kickstarter controversy), BasedCon creator and based fiction author Rob Kroese, and the tricky card magic of the notoriously Hopeful Catholic, Patrick Coffin. Pour a drink and enjoy the party!


—Streamed June 19, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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46 You Best Start Believing in Faërie Stories

Mirror, mirror on the wall, does Modernity understand itself at all? In this episode RFB lays down the Faërie lore, and the Ark sees itself sailing in the Brothers Grimm fairy tales. What kind of power do these stories have on the human heart and on entire nations of people? Join us as we rediscover knowledge of the ancient tales that have been loomed into the modern retellings, as we resurrect our love of the great fairytale of history.


—Streamed June 14, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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45 Captain Zodiac and the Planets

In this special episode, RFB and Kilts welcome our first guest pirate aboard the Ark! Captain Zodiac walks us through the science and art of Astrology, describing the influences of the heavenly bodies on our own. We talk star charts like Magi to see if the characters in Draco Alchemicus stick true to their planetary models. What does it mean to hear the Dragon offering you star milk? Join us as we chart their star course!


—Streamed June 7, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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44 What Men Really Want

In this episode, RFB reads from The Oxford Book of English Verse to find the secrets men have left behind, revealing in shocking detail what they think about and desire. Men's poetry suggests that what they truly want is very different from the clichéd desires of the advertising world, that has created caricatures of men without hearts, brains, or beauty. Do men really want love? That and more...

—Streamed May 31, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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43 Art War

What if we told you that "Star Wars" is the basis of Western Civilization? The Professor explains the origin story of DRACO ALCHEMICUS, as the Pigeon weaves in and out of various themes getting lost in fairyland. How did George Lucas come up with the idea for an intergalactic war of empires? Could it be that Edmund Spenser was the muse for our civilization all along?


—Streamed May 24, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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42 Once and Future Charles

The Professor and the Pigeon invite you to a royalist stream as the Ark considers King Charles III’s coronation. Did England just waste an enormous amount of taxpayer money on useless pomp, or did this event have a value for the British peoples, especially those in the modern world that desire dragons?


—Streamed May 17, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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41 Behind the Scenes

The Ark prepares to launch the Dragon Common Room Kickstarter for the upcoming work DRACO ALCHEMICUS. Walking you through the new DCR website, the Professor and her pigeon describe their vision of the Electric Mosaic: DCR's multimedia resurrection of an integrated Medieval sub-creation culture, where the archaic becomes new in our own space and time through Art. You wanna learn to scan? Join the stream!


—Streamed May 10, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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40 Courting the Dragon

The Ark gets ready to launch the Dragon Common Room Kickstarter by taking inspiration from Edmund Spenser’s own fund-raising efforts in the Elizabethan court. The professor explains how training in English Iambic Pentameter is so important and why learning to scan is a top priority for speakers of the magical tongue of England. Can you scan?


— Streamed May 3, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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39 The Internet Eats Its Own

The Pigeon returns to the Ark this week, after flying around to find some dry land, and the Professor reflects on the perilous seas of the Internet and Tucker Carlson’s termination from Fox News. Taking note of Tucker's last public speech on the effect of lying and telling the truth, RFB and Kilts muse on how our technology is affecting our public relations. How much does Truth require from us, and are we willing to sacrifice our status in the court of public opinion to let Truth do its work?


—Streamed April 26, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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38 Sauron’s Mic

The Professor takes the Ark on a solo cruise through the treacherous waters of 20th century media to discover the source of Sauron’s power. Can you hear the tribal drums of the acoustic surround-sound of the radio? Track the monsters to their source in the vernacular tongue of the archaic village—made global by the electric amplification of society’s psyche. Sounds mystical? You bet your Marshall McLuhan!


—Streamed April 19, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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37 The Hunt for Judeo-Christianity

The Ark sails into the murky waters of Christian Nationalism and defining what is this thing called Judeo-Christian civilization. RFB and Kilts explain the Western Medieval and Coptic connections that link both in the ancient story of the Hebrews, celebrating liturgy through the Temple tradition of the early  Christians. Kilts describes the Copts who refer to themselves in the context of the Solomonic roots of their faith, and the fulfilment of Israel's hope in Christ. Are Westerners Judeo-Christian, or are we too scared to ask?

—Streamed April 12, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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36 Gethsemane

The Ark observes Holy Week (on the Roman calendar) and RFB invites us to experience John Henry Newman's meditation on Christ's passion in the Garden of Gethsemane, as illustrated by Zé Nuno Fraga. Looking at our collective role in the crucifixion of Christ and our individual participation in this collective murder, we ask: can we stop the scapegoating without the Divine Scapegoat?


—Streamed April 5, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)


Zé Nuno Fraga’s Catholicomics:

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35 Possessed

The Ark holds a kind of vigil for the Tennessee shooting victims this week, as RFB explains a personal connection to the tragedy. We continue with our meditations on how Girardian Mimetic Rivalry drives violence in culture, and the myths that mask our collective murders and scapegoating to salve our psyches, taking inspiration from the story of Christ exorcising the demoniac who lived amongst the tombs. What if we are all in the story that we are so often commenting on as outsiders? And what if we ourselves are part of the crowd that cried "Crucify Him"?

—Streamed March 29, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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34 A Desire for Dragons

Are you ready to see behind the green curtain? RFB takes the Ark into the realm of Faërie, as we continue to discern the difference between the Girardian pair of Aztec human sacrifice and the Catholic Mass. Are Catholics simply doing some kind of magic trick or a version of voodoo? Tolkien attempted to unveil the mystery of joy and sorrow hidden from the Anglosphere in his writing of fairy stories. We desire dragons, but are we ready to come face to face with them again?

—Streamed March 22, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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33 Mimetic Monsters

In the beginning there was... murder? RFB steers the Ark through Girardian Mimetic Rivalry, exploring the dynamics driving human Scapegoating. Flowing across themes from George Floyd to COVID to Cain and Abel to opioid addiction, we unpack the murderous mythology that lays the foundation for civilization. Why do certain events resonate so strongly in the crowd, and is Christ just another human sacrifice like all the others?

—Streamed March 15, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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32 Humans v Monsters

The Ark flips into the upside down, as we uncover the mechanism of René Girard's Mimetic Desire in driving the polarity of mob formation and culture wars. Have you ever wondered if you had a long lost evil twin somewhere? What would you do if you discovered that you were the monster?

—Streamed March 8, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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31 Demons of the Intersands

What are you doing in the digital world without your flesh? RFB takes us with her to train in virtue, as we look at the internet conflict that feels at times like doing battle with demons. The professor and the pigeon talk about being women online, banning women from being online, the social rules of the sexes as they play out in the electric space, and the importance of martial art in our digital warfare. Wanna bout? Salute your opponent!

—Streamed March 1, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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30 One and Only Queen

The Ark heard that Professor Fulton Brown's contribution to the now infamous Trinity Intervention was completely forgotten by all the men, and so now liberated from needing to care at all what men think about us, we present an overview of the women in the Bible and their role in the story of mankind's salvation. How did the Ark of the Covenant come to guide the destiny of the children of Israel, and what power did it generate? Or rather, who was generated by the Ark?

—Streamed February 22, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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29 A-Idolatry

The Mosaic Ark enters chat bot mode to solve the problem of A.I - and idolatry. From the Silicon Nile Valley to the low-tech desert of Sinai, the Ark sails to understand the prohibition of graven images after the Exodus. From the alphabet to chat bots, how are our relationships to our machines changing our relationships to each other, and what does God have to say about our idols?

—Streamed February 15, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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28 Snakes and Ladders

The professor and the pigeon flip roles in this stream, and talk about the drama of status inversion. Following a very serpentine route through high school drama in "The Breakfast Club," the lottery of being born rich or poor in "Trading Places," and the swashbuckling inversions of the Pirates world, the Ark sails onwards towards Shakespearean comedy to decipher the ultimate drama: taming the shrews who would ruin the fun of the gamers amongst us. Let's play snakes and ladders!

—Streamed February 8, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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27 Ark Etiquette

Does Capitalism rely on shame to function? RFB takes us on a shocking journey through Christian Etiquette and the aristocratic advice of De La Salle, Adam Smith and the art scandals of the 19th Century. Does Western culture have problem of being shamelessly unChristlike, or rather a problem of not wanting to be shamed like Christ? And can art save us from shame...

—Streamed February 1, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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26 Manners in Minecraft

The internet feels like the Wild West, and RFB wants to teach us some manners! In this episode, the Ark sails through the etiquette of the game world, the chivalric code of conduct in feudal Medieval Europe, how we're behaving in the e-Duchies of social media and the booger trolls. Are we only a stone's throw from barbarism at any moment, or are we being called to cast away our stones for Royal Community Guidelines?

—Streamed January 25, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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25 Blood English

They say diamonds are forever, but what about our Mother Tongue? The professor and the pigeon have crawled out of their Week of Doom, and set sail on a journey through the poetry of TS Eliot. Can our global identity crisis as English speakers in Globohomo "Western culture" be remedied, and can we find an identity that will last forever?

—Streamed January 18, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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24 Courting the Doom

RFB and Kilts enter a doom spiral as the blackpills finally get to them. They talk through the post-crisis fog that seems to occlude our vision of good and evil, heroes and villains. Are we in conflict fatigue, or are we really craving conflict that we cannot bring onto the courts of  our culture?

—Streamed January 11, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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23 The Hays Code Hustle

RFB spent a week in bed with a cold with only chocolates and Rom Coms to keep her entertained. In this episode, the Ark follows her deep dive into the Hays Code era films. Looking at the storylines of post WWII Hollywood, RFB eats Bonbons and discovers something amiss in the narrative. Have Western audiences really been missing trad romance all along? Kilts suggests alternate viewing.

—Streamed January 4, 2023 (UATV; YouTube)

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22 What's the Fuss?

Have you been arguing with a Scrooge this Christmas? RFB and Kilts take a deep dive into the Antichristmas controversies that turn our December Holy Day into a battle over dates and pagan rites. Are we blindly celebrating cleverly devised fables or has Saint Nick brought us a present to remember the Greatest Gift of All Time?

—Streamed December 28, 2022 (UATV; YouTube)

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The pigeons are taking time off streaming messages this week to enjoy the royal birth of Immanuel. We wish you a blessed and merry Christmas! Regular programming will resume next week. Thank you for helping us launch our Ark this year!

—Your pigeons in Christ, A.D. 2022

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21 The Mask of Sin

What happens when our focus turns from God to idols? In this stream RFB and Kilts pivot their attention to the many masks we wear and our relationship to sin and forgiveness in this Grudge Culture. Are autists disordered, or are they seeing patterns everyone else is blind to?


SPOILER ALERT: The sound gremlins grabbled Kilts's audio. We are working on transcribing proper captions. For those eager for this week's episode, Kilts's subtitles are provided by YouTube auto-captioning.

—Streamed December 14, 2022 (UATV; YouTube)

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20 Scrolls and Trolls

Who wrote the Bible? RFB and Kilts go on a journey to the beginnings of the Holy Book. They find their way through the Medieval Christian manuscript culture that allowed the oral tradition to merge with postal correspondence, finally emerging in the medium of the Mediterranean world. This is history as the Apostles knew it: surround sound and red letter.

—Streamed December 7, 2022 (UATV; YouTube)

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19 Gaslighting 101

RFB and Kilts plunge into the turbulent seas of Gaslighting with no images to guide their way. Charting a course from individual examples to the collective Gaslighting of modern history (aka "the Enlightenment"), the Mosaic Ark finds itself wondering where we are now in the Narrative of Western Identity. Could it be that our fear of hate speech and taboo breakers is a fear of looking at our own bad contracts? Time to repent and punch the OG Gaslighter in the face!

—Streamed November 30, 2022 (UATV; YouTube)

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18 Real Presence

Ye is breaking the internet this week, and the border between performance art and reality is as ambiguous as time in an airport lounge. RFB and Kilts go on a journey to find the Real Presence, tracking the professor’s recent pilgrimage to Fatima. How does the world of High Fashion reflect Catholic devotion?

—Streamed November 23, 2022 (UATV; YouTube)

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17 Fan Art

The artists are making the world, but in whose image? In this special stream from the opposite shores of the Atlantic, RFB and Kilts talk poetics and the desire to create fan art for God, and each other. This episode is dedicated to Cecilia Giménez, for her love of Our Lord Jesus Christ and her desire to restore his image in art.

—Streamed November 17, 2022 (UATV; YouTube)

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16 Ye Holy Fools

Go down, Kanye? In this episode the Professor and the Pigeon unpack the now globally infamous moment Ye decided to declare DeathCon3 on Jews, and the mythological foolishness of Ye’s statements since. Invoking Ari Shaffir’s take on the saga, RFB and Kilts go on a journey to figure out what Davidic frame we are all using when we talk about “Jews”.

—Streamed November 9, 2022 (UATV; YouTube)

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15 The Corona Files

History is a meme war, and we're now debating whether it is better to declare amnesty and forgive and forget the events of the past few years. But what do we actually remember happened since 2019? RFB and Kilts trawl through the 2020 memes and talk about our very long two weeks to flatten the curve, and what it meant for the people involved in the flattening.

—Streamed November 2, 2022 (UATV; YouTube)

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14 Here Be Pyrates

RFB confesses her pirate ancestry, which takes us on a journey to Elizabethan England and the origins of the British Empire. Kilts moans about being convict trash and then the Professor and the Pigeon unpack the entire mythology behind Pirates of the Caribbean. Do you believe in ghost stories? You best believe in them, you’re in one!

—Streamed October 26, 2022 (UATV; YouTube)

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13 The Game of Trumps

Pick a card! The Professor flies solo through the history of the Tarot, from fifteenth-century playing cards to mediations on the triumph of Our Lord. Why do people find card games so appealing? What does modern science have to do with fortune telling? And where in the deck is the brazen serpent lifted up?


—Streamed October 19, 2022 (UATV; YouTube

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12 The Celestial Rave

Do you want to trip the light fantastic? RFB and Kilts decide to induce flashbacks to their time in the hippy era, which bled into the raver era, which bled into the All Time Era of the Internet. How is the journey towards Light influencing our rituals and worship, and what are we seeking in the rave of civilization? We take the Ark on an arc from acid tests to Astroworld to discover how the Dionysian becomes Luciferian—and how Christ rescues us from the rave. Don’t look now, but there are angels behind that door.

—Streamed October 12, 2022 (UATV; YouTube)

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11 Magic and the Burning Man

We live in a magical world. From occult symbolism, the desire to cast spells and divine the future, and the innovation and incantations of technology, it seems that mankind is fundamentally a magical creature. Like electric Magi, RFB and Kilts go on a long journey to discover the root of our desire for magical powers. Along the way, they unpack symbolism and ritual, memes, medieval magical practices, the Tarot, and rave parties like Burning Man. The Professor and the Pigeon consider some of the most powerful acts of magic in human experience, and in particular, one preceded by the most iconic event in the history of astrology. Can you guess what it is?

—Streamed October 5, 2022 (UATV; YouTube)

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10 Anglonationalism

The internet is buzzing with the fear of a Mussolini in heels, as Italy has elected a radical woman who likes family. What did a family mean to ancient Romans and how does Modern World define the tribe and clan and nation? In this episode RFB reveals the hidden nations of the United States of America, and Kilts learns about Scottish kilts while wearing Tonto makeup. She couldn't find a dead bird.

—Streamed September 28, 2022 (UATV; YouTube)

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09 The Architecture of Memory

What does it mean to remember your history as a nation? In the wake of the Queen's passing this week, we discuss the pageantry and architecture of our civilization and what role the Church has in the mythology of the world. Or rather, what role does the World have in the history of the Church?

—Streamed September 21, 2022 (UATV; YouTube)

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08 Galadriel's Journey

Why is Galadriel in Armor so repulsive? RFB and Kilts talk about smashing the patriarchy with Tolkien and uncover some surprising similarities between the Feminist Heroine's Journey in The Rings of Power and Saint Joan of Arc. 

—Streamed September 14, 2022 (UATV; YouTube)

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07 Vending Machine People Part Two

The Professor returns from her mother's basement with tales of the road. We ride the rivers of the US Interstates to their source in the mythhistory of the Nile and discover the wizardry on which the Empire of the English has depended. Drinks all round, if you know where to find the recipe! Don't look now, but that man behind the curtain is selling something. 

—Streamed September 7, 2022 (UATV; YouTube)

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06 Vending Machine People Part One

The Professor decided that she needed the lived experience of being a streamer in her mom’s basement, and she and Kilts begin the journey to unpack Vending Machine People. They break the Internet when highlighting the Western obsession with obelisks and why the phenomenon of Rachel Dolezal is connected to the Ptolemaic Dynasty of Egypt. There were tech glitches. Part Two to come.

—Streamed August 31, 2022 (UATV; YouTube)

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05 How to Pray the Rosary

Why is everyone so afraid of the Rosary? Why do beads have everybody spooked? In this episode of the Mosaic Ark, Professor Brown talks about her scandalous decision to study Christianity from the “lived experience” of the medieval people and culture she spent her career researching. Why is the lived experience of Medieval Christians so terrifying to the Modern World? Join us to discover the history and practice of ancient Christian devotion, where we dare to Hail Mary with the Art of Prayer.

—Streamed August 24, 2022 (UATV; YouTube)

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04 Christ the Lover-Knight and the Chivalry of Salvation

Once upon a time, there was a knight who betrothed himself to a beautiful princess. Before they could be married, however, she was captured and imprisoned by a thief. Who was this knight, and how did he rescue his bride? And what happens when the bride herself puts on the armor? Spoiler alert: you won’t want to miss Kilts’s internet gender reveal! Fully illustrated. 

—Streamed August 19, 2022 (UATV; YouTube)

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03 The Ark of the Lord

Hello? Hello? Is this thing on? Our sound test takes us on a perilous quest through the Scriptures, looking for traces of Our Lady. We scour the cosmopolitan wilderness of the ancient world and visit Solomon with the Queen of Sheba. Who is the Woman of Apocalypse 12, and what does she have to do with the Ark of the Tabernacle?

—Streamed August 16, 2022 (UATV; YouTube)

02 Sound Test with Habacuc

The Pirate and the Pigeon raid the stream to test their sound and light. The first lesson is from the book of Habacuc—the Lord has beams in his hands! We may have talked about how Christians abandoned the academic frontlines when they should have been reading the Scriptures, and how not paying enough attention to the Lord of the psalms renders us unpoetical and boring. Still working on getting our sound just right.


—Streamed August 14, 2022 (UATV exclusive)

01 The Grammar of the Internet

Kilts Khalfan flies in from Australia like an electric pigeon to translate Professorspeak into the grammar of the Internet. We take a deep dive into Marshall McLuhan's arguments about the power of the media and demonstrate through poetry how liturgy keeps Christians anchored in space and time. Sing with the Angel of Silesia of the Crystal Incarnate that glows with the Light of the Word!


—Streamed August 12, 2022 (UATV; YouTube)

00 Tech Test with Riverrun

Motherboarder Mel joins me and Kilts Khalfan for a wild ride through our tech setup. Watch for wombats on the riverrun. There will be thunder.

—Streamed August 10, 2022 (UATV; YouTube)

“Eala Earendel, engla beorhtast

ofer middengeard monnum sended.”

—Advent Lyric V, The Christ of Cynewulf

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